A New Course

03Jun08

So I was wrong… Being away from school ai’nt all butterflies and raindbows… and honey and milk… and candy and sweets… it had its share of shit… and i mean DEEP shit…

Now everybody asks me.. hows life during LOA? And the answer would be… Paradise… minus everything else… I apparently became a traveler, missionary (in my own right), teacher, driver, laborer, Cotton gin operator, coup de etat leader, and our home’s very own opposition leader.

Now you say….. WHAT?

And I say… YEAH!

People ask me if this time it’s for real… I cant really say so… I dont even know what they are asking… So I say yes… if that would account for anything… But I will try.. I guess I have no other choice for my hopeless freakin self…

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Yellow Moon

01May08

They say the yellow moon

Sets you in an awry mood

I say it dances

to the beat of the Gods drums and trumpets

Waltzing… to the tune of one’s beating heart

And suddenly…

It all stops…

as the beating skips its tune…

the yellow moon returns

to its heavenly throne…

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To my Precious

21Mar07

Remember when
i had you in my arms
like it was just fine
knowing you’re not mine

how it feels so good
just being there
feeling the cold ocean air
feeling your tender loving care

funny you didnt notice
my staring eyes
while you were watching
distant bright lights

but it feels altogether the same
not caring if your not watching
not even if you still cared
its just, you were there

when we had to get up
get home
and say goodbye
but then

i wouldnt want to look back
see you walking away
i might run to you and say
words not meant for that day

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Of Rain and Dogs ver2.0beta

15Mar07

Come to think of it. It was not really one of those “normal” summer days. Living in the tropics meant “hot and sweaty” summer days. But like what I’ve told you a little while ago. It was not one of those “ordinary days”. Call it weird, but I guess it really was. She stood there like a flashing beacon on a dark, starless night. And I just stared at her, wide-eyed, like a little child staring at a toy shop full of toys big and small. She was ethereal back then; untouchable and fragile, yet she presented herself to me – a gift which I gladly accepted.
I remember those times we would occasionally sneak in our house and our dogs would bark atus like crazy. You would hold me tight and you would whisper words I never really got to hear. They would go on barking even until we were out of their sight as if the mere thought of us being together excited them. Our first activity together was when we went to the hair
salon together. When you went on to choose what hairstyle was good on me while i choose thehairstyle that would best fit you. We both laughed our heads off, finding out that we both loathed our doos. But then we went away with the thought because it was each other’s choice for the other. When the rain spell hit our place, you were as pissed of as hell. On the
phone, you would tell me over and over how much you hated the rain but then again had no choice but to stay at home. But sometimes, out of childish impulse you would invite me out. Shouting outside our house, you would call my name until your voice would dissipate into the neighborhood blending with the near and distant barks of dogs. But not very long, I would go
out of the house, in equal excitement. We would danced in the drizzle with the dogs playing an alien song. And when the ice cream man would come and pass our place, you would run outside the house and wail, for ice cream and attention. The ice cream man was always the good man, always smiling. When, for the last time, we went inside the house, and the dog’s forgot to bark. You were surprised, so was I.
I know you hated dogs, you thought they were some evil being or something. Because they wereeither black or they bark. Either way, you hated them. But I didn’t, in fact I love dogs. We looked at them at a different view. What for me was a song, for you was a battle cry. What for me was a friendly approach, you saw it as a deadly lunge. Our final days together, it didn’t rain, still I can’t seem to feel your soul. And I waited for you to pass by our house. I waited, it was nearing the cold seasons then. It was unwise to wait for you. I guess it was not only the weather that grew cold that day. I went inside
the house, and with a broken heart, spent the next days of my life.
You see, i never really quite got to the part where we got wrong. We were happy, yes we were. And then here goes the last day, and you never showed up. You left me, cold and alone.I never hated you then. I never did hate you for anything. If it would be worth anything, I still remember the two of us dancing in the rain, cold, wet and smiling. Now, as i spend another summer in the house. I could neither hear the distant ringing of the old ice cream man’s bell. Neither could i feel the cold i felt that day you never showed up. And its already raining, and I’m not sure what I’m not hearing, the distant barks of dogs or the klinkety-klank of the rain on the rooftops. But that’s not what’s important. Sometimes, what’s missing is what’s really important. To me, this was one of those stories that broke even before it got bent. And the rain might be there to liven me up, and the dogs to share their masterpiece of howls. Still, the one thing that makes it all worthy of being in my
memory is not there. And I guess you’ll never come back.

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Wala lang..

11Mar07

^_^: “Do you believe in angels?”
n_n: “Depends”
^_^: “On what?”
n_n:”What you mean”
^_^: “Of what?”
n_n: “These angels your talking about”
^_^: “What about it?”
n_n: “Can you see them?”
^_^: “uhm.. not really.. well.. I don’t”
n_n: “So.. what do you think?”
^_^: “Angels? uhm.. make believe perhaps”
n_n: “make believe? as in not true?”
^_^: “I guess that’s what I’m trying to say”
n_n: “You don’t believe in them because they’re non existent?”
^_^: “uhm.. yeah..”
n_n: “Then what if one day you’ll wake up one day seeing one?”
^_^: “Then I would believe”
n_n: “What if it’s already too late?”
^_^: …
n_n: “Know what? God gave me my biggest the disappointment in my life..”
^_^: “huh? how?”
n_n: “I asked God for a very simple life.. You know.. Work, pay, a family, a kid or two..”
^_^: “Then?”
n_n: “He gave me something.. Much, much more..”
^_^: “Lucky you.. What’s the disappointment there?”
n_n: “You remember the thing i asked you about? uhm.. the angels thing?
^_^: “Yeah?”
n_n: “I also didnt believe in those such things.. fairy tales.. angels..”
^_^: “Then?”
n_n: “God gave me the best reason to believe”
^_^: “How? What?”
n_n: “He made me talk to one..”
^_^: “When?”
n_n: “Just seconds ago.. “

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